Toxic Boss Vibes? Do This to Avoid Another Mental Breakdown at Work - Episode 023
How to Train Your Manager and Become Accidentally Important at Work
Here’s a startling fact. 1 in 4 employees leave their jobs because of their manager.
If you’ve ever been in a role where your boss or manager made you question everything—your career, your confidence, your sanity—you know how draining it can be. Even when the perks are great, a bad manager can sabotage your growth, your joy, and your mental health.
But on the flip side?
A great manager makes even average jobs feel meaningful. They advocate for you. They notice when you’re off. They push you to grow. When you have that kind of support, everything changes.
Here’s the good news: while you can’t fix a bad manager, you can train yourself to work with the one you’ve got—and in doing so, you can train them to work better with you. That’s what this episode is all about.
Understand the Job of a Manager (and Why It’s Not Always Their Fault)
Managers are expected to do a lot: set direction, support their team, hit goals, manage up, and remove roadblocks. But many were promoted because they were great at doing the work—not leading others to do it.
If your manager is empathetic but disorganized…
If they mean well but constantly miscommunicate…
If they seem overwhelmed and short with you…
It might not be about you. It might be that they’ve never been trained properly, or they’re juggling far more than you can see. Understanding this context helps you lead with empathy, not frustration.
Strategy #1: Understand Their Style
Most workplace tension comes down to mismatched communication styles. Does your manager prefer Slack or email? Do they want high-level updates or deep detail? Ask directly if you can. If not, observe their behavior and adapt accordingly.
When you start aligning your communication with their preferences, things start to click. They trust you. They stop hovering. You get more space—and more responsibility.
Strategy #2: Use the Rule of Threes
Before bringing a problem to your manager, take a breath. Then think through three potential solutions.
For example:
Your team is over budget. Instead of saying “What should we do?” you offer:
Delay non-critical spending.
Reallocate funds from another project.
Implement light cost-cutting measures.
Now you’re not just reporting problems. You’re offering options. You’re reducing their cognitive load. That’s what makes you accidentally important.
Strategy #3: Be Annoying (In a Good Way)
Ask questions. Even the ones that feel obvious. Especially the ones that feel awkward.
Clarify the objective, timeline, and format. Confirm who else is involved. Ask for examples.
You may feel like a broken record at first—but over time, your manager will anticipate what you need, and your projects will run smoother.
Know Who You’re Dealing With
Not all managers are the same. There are micro-managers, macro-managers, data-driven leaders, visionaries, and more. Once you know their style, you can tailor your approach.
Want help? I created a downloadable cheat sheet that breaks down the 8 most common manager types and how to handle them.
Training your manager doesn’t mean manipulating them. It means showing up prepared, thoughtful, and collaborative. And when you do that consistently? You become someone they trust. Someone they count on. Someone they fight to keep.
That’s how you become accidentally important at work.