What My Spontaneous Trip to Stagecoach Taught Me About Letting Go of Control - Episode 42

The Plans You Don’t Make Might Change You the Most

I woke up that Saturday fully prepared to be productive.

You know the kind of day. Coffee, laptop, maybe a podcast recording, and the quiet satisfaction of checking things off your list. After a full week of traveling, I was ready to reset, stay in, and ease back into routine.

By 1 p.m., I was in the desert at Stagecoach.

Not only was this my first time at Stagecoach, but I also didn’t know a single performer. I’m not a country music fan. I couldn’t name more than a handful of songs if I tried. And yet, a spontaneous “yes” turned into one of the most memorable experiences I’ve had in a long time.

It wasn’t about the festival. It was about what happens when you loosen your grip on control and allow life to surprise you.

Here’s what that experience taught me and how it might change the way you approach your own life.

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Why Saying Yes Can Change Everything

The decision itself was simple but loaded.

A friend texted me that she had an extra artist guest pass to Stagecoach. My immediate reaction was no. It wasn’t my scene. It didn’t fit my plan. It didn’t make logical sense.

But then came a different question: could this be fun?

That shift is everything.

Most of us default to asking whether something makes sense. We measure opportunities against productivity, identity, or convenience. But the best experiences often don’t check those boxes.

When you start asking better questions, like whether something could bring joy, connection, or a new perspective, you open yourself up to a completely different life.

Saying yes to new experiences doesn’t mean being reckless. It means recognizing when you’re saying no out of habit, not truth.

The Hidden Cost of Overplanning

I’ve been to plenty of festivals before. And every time, I planned them down to the minute.

Outfits, set times, routes between stages. Everything was optimized.

This time, I had no idea who was playing. No schedule. No expectations.

And because of that, I was fully present.

There was nothing to anticipate or manage. No pressure to maximize the experience. I was just there, enjoying the energy, laughing with my friend, taking it all in as it happened.

That’s the paradox of overplanning vs living in the moment.

When you try to control every detail, you often miss the experience itself. You’re too focused on what’s next instead of what’s happening right now.

Letting go of the plan created space for something better: presence.

You Don’t Have to Be “That Kind of Person”

One of the biggest mental blocks we carry is identity.

“I’m not a country music person.”
“That’s not really my thing.”
“I wouldn’t normally do that.”

We use these labels to filter what we allow ourselves to experience.

But here’s the truth: you don’t need to qualify for an experience.

Being spontaneous doesn’t require you to change who you are. It simply asks you to be open to expanding it.

At Stagecoach, I found myself enjoying the music, appreciating the atmosphere, and even adding a new song to my playlist. None of that would have happened if I had stayed within the boundaries of what I thought was “me.”

Trying something new doesn’t dilute your identity. It adds to it.

Living in the Moment Creates Better Memories

There’s something powerful about walking into a situation with no expectations.

You’re not comparing it to anything. You’re not trying to get something out of it. You’re just experiencing it.

That’s what made this first time at Stagecoach so impactful.

We wandered. We took photos. We watched performances I didn’t recognize and still enjoyed. I didn’t know the words to any songs, but I was part of the moment anyway.

And that’s the point.

Your most meaningful memories won’t come from being productive. They’ll come from moments where you allowed yourself to be spontaneous, to connect, to feel something new.

No one looks back on their life wishing they had worked more on a random Saturday.

Life Doesn’t Wait for the Perfect Plan

Just when the day felt effortless and fun, everything shifted.

The winds picked up. What started as a normal desert breeze turned intense. Dust filled the air. It became chaotic, almost surreal. A few hours later, the festival was evacuated.

We had already left, safely back at our hotel, watching the situation unfold online. It looked apocalyptic.

And it hit me.

You can plan everything. You can prepare, organize, and try to control every detail. And life can still change in an instant.

That’s not a reason to fear the unexpected. It’s a reason to embrace it.

Because if life is unpredictable anyway, why not lean into the moments that bring you joy, even if they don’t fit the plan?

How to Be More Spontaneous Without Losing Yourself

If you’re someone who thrives on structure, the idea of being spontaneous might feel uncomfortable.

That’s normal.

But being spontaneous doesn’t mean abandoning responsibility. It means creating space for flexibility.

Here are a few ways to start:

Ask better questions

Instead of asking, “Does this make sense?” try asking, “Could this be fun?” or “Will I regret not doing this?”

Challenge your default no

Pause before you dismiss something. Are you saying no because it’s not right for you or because it’s unfamiliar?

Let go of the need to optimize

Not every experience needs to be efficient or productive. Some are valuable simply because they exist.

Try small moments of spontaneity

You don’t have to jump into a festival. It can be as simple as changing your routine, trying something new, or saying yes to a last-minute plan.

The Takeaway: The Plans You Don’t Make Matter Most

That Saturday didn’t go as planned.

And that’s exactly why it mattered.

If I had stayed home, I would have had a productive day. But I would have missed out on an experience that gave me new perspective, deeper connection, and a story I’ll remember for years.

None of that would have happened if I had chosen control over curiosity.

So here’s the question to carry with you:

Are you saying no because something isn’t right for you, or because it doesn’t fit the version of your life you’ve already planned?

Sometimes, the plans you don’t make are the ones that change you the most.